I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I’ve always been an immediate gratification gal and didn’t make the yearly over-promise because it always seemed too high-aiming and unachievable in a satisfying amount of time … at least for this impatient writer.
Yet, I can’t deny there is some wisdom in making a resolution and sticking to it, whether you do it on January 1 or on any other day of the year. The discipline and drive it takes to make a commitment to immediately improve your own life seems, to me, a great way to improve your well-being and health overall.
This year, I decided to take that principle to heart. I was determined to improve one thing in my life pronto and I knew exactly what that was.
Over the past few months, I’d become all too aware that my s*x life had moved to the back burner in relation to other parts of my life. After my divorce, I had vowed never to let my s*x life suffer again, and yet here I was, letting it suffer.
That was it. No more sitting around. I decided it was time to figure out how to get myself back in the mood and improve my s*xual attitude — immediately.
But where to start?
Here are 3 steps I took, and that you can take too, to improve my s*xual attitude and get back to having HOT s*x.
1. Meditation: Figure out your basic need that’s not being met.
I turned off all electronic devices (gasp!) and began to search my soul for the answer I knew was buried in me. How could I re-energize my s*x life?
Frustrated, I picked up one of my favorite books on se*uality, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston. Bingo!
All I had to do was read these lines under the heading “Whole s*x — Macro to Micro”:
“Your se*uality is about your connection to everyone and everything around you … you are a s*xual being not a s*xual ‘doing.’ s*x is not just something you do — it’s a fundamental and inseparable part of who you are.”
This really resonated with me. My lack of importance placed on s*x recently was the loss of focus on how it makes me feel when I’m connected to my s*xual self. When I’m having great s*x my senses are more astute, my mood is elevated and my interaction with others is more positive and engaging.
I missed all of those feelings and wanted them back.
2. Enumerate: Identify three ways to achieve your new goal.
I love to make lists, but I can get carried away and end up overwhelming myself with steps and procedures to follow. So, I kept it simple and limited myself to choosing three things I could do to change my s*xual attitude.
For me, the best first step is to do my research. Research always gets me excited about my topic and it’s a way my inner “know-it-all” gets exercised. In my fact-finding mission, I came up with three ways to encourage my s*xual attitude to grow and become more diverse.
The personal list I created looks like this:
Something I’ve wanted to learn — orgasmic meditation.
Something I’ve wanted to become better at — the art of the lingam (i.e., man-hood) massage.
Something I’ve been putting off — finding a new, like-minded lover to practice with.
Great! I had my list, now I had to take the leap and start the journey.
3. Participate: Take the quickest action possible toward achieving your selected goals.
This is perhaps the most challenging part of any change, the actual dirty work (pardon the pun). However, the most important aspect of this last step is not to delay.
I resolved to tackle my chosen first step immediately. If I didn’t engage myself posthaste, chances were I’d keep putting it off. When I found a local Orgasmic Meditation group on Meetup.com, I signed up for my first introduction that same week. Just taking that first step excited and inspired me to investigate other ways to encourage my inner s*x goddess to express herself again. I found my desire to pick up the Anais Nin book I had put down and was suddenly inspired to write more er*tica.
The most surprising aspect of taking each of these three steps was how immediately I opened up my sensuality again.
I had a familiar sway to my step and lilt to my voice just from acknowledging and welcoming it back into the fold. I truly believe this small but powerful master-stroke toward changing my s*xual attitude right away, opened me up to attract more like-minded partners and friends — people who support my new attitude and foster its growth.
At the time of this writing, I’m only eleven days into re-invigorating my sybaritic soul, but so far I’m very glad I actually made and followed through with these resolutions.
Now, if people ask me if I’ve ever made any New Year’s resolutions, I can simply intrigue them with the answer, “I’m changing my s*xual attitude!” — as I skip off to practice Orgasmic Meditation, lingam massage and/or make-out with a new lover.
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